Posts by GrowthSkills

Everyone has different reactions to the concept of “good enough”. Some laugh, some recoil, some are curious.  Good enough can feel like a cop-out, a license for mediocrity, or a recipe for disaster.   For most of us, good enough doesn’t compute, because we live in two gears:  it’s either “perfect” or a total “failure.” But,…

I did some time in Juvenile Hall and Prison. Prior to my time in these ‘penitentiaries’, I had spent thousands of hours engaging in personal and academic study, mentoring relationships, spiritual direction, deep and quality friendships in Christian communities, pastoral counseling, service to others, various discipleship efforts, my own therapy, reading quality books, and more.…

Structure. It’s a word that evokes different emotions. Some people hear the word and relax. (After all, how could you get through life without structure?) Some try to deny its existence or necessity. (Those people need to relax!) We learn so many of life’s habits when we are growing up. I, personally, wasn’t raised with…

What do you do when you experience strong emotions?  Do you react and regret it later?  Or do you try to downplay it and hope it goes away?  These are two common reaction to intense emotions.  The first reaction is an attempt to get relief from the from the emotion, which often results in negative…

About 10 years ago, I noticed something puzzling about my relationships. It was subtle at first but as I began to tune in it became more apparent something wasn’t quite right. When I spent time with one friend, Ginger* I would feel tired by the time our visit ended, drained, like I needed a nap.…

Who needs a Coach? Well, just about everyone! Maybe I should say, everyone who wants to grow! Is there an area of your life you have been wanting to achieve change in, but just haven’t quite been able to do it on your own? Want to grow your business? Scale it? Or maybe you’ve sold…

The day after his 6th Super Bowl Championship, I was surprised to hear Tom Brady say he is more motivated by criticism than by compliments.  When asked about his reaction to being called the “G.O.A.T” (Greatest Of All Time), Brady said, “It makes me cringe.” With my coaching hat on (executive coaching that is), I…

When I first went to work with John and Henry in 1997, I was excited to be doing work I believed was meaningful and significant.  I loved their mission; helping people heal, thrive and grow. It was rewarding to work for two men that I admired and respected. Additionally, I felt my past work experience…

In Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, there is an interesting exchange with Alice and the Cheshire Cat. Alice has come to a fork in the road and doesn’t know which direction to go. She must choose a path – one way or the other, she is in a quandary. Alice looks up and she…

I invited Brad Formsma, author of I Like Giving, to my office to share his thoughts about  his experience at one of our workshops. I like talking to Brad; he has always helped me to think differently about whatever subject we are talking about. Our conversation started with the topic of generosity (no surprise there)…

Lately, I have been giving a lot of thought to generosity. Perhaps this is due to the time of the year. The past Thanksgiving holiday reminds us to be thankful for what we have and to reach out to others who are less fortunate. But, as Henry mentioned, should we need a holiday to remind…

Have you ever asked yourself “What is the purpose of my emotions?” As a therapist, one of my roles is to help people accept and sit with their emotions. Yes, that means to feel them. We don’t generally like to feel our feelings, do we? Especially the negative ones. We either shove them down or…